Top Tens
All Top Tens Rated PG-13
*New*
Top Ten list of the day
the Ten Things That Make Keith Tingly...!
Presented by Princess Allura
A tad bit NSFW
The Return of Top Tens
Top Ten Reasons I Love Hockey
Presented by Hunk (aka The Big Guy)
Why Being Part of Voltron
is Better than Being With a Prince
Presented by Princess Allura
Hunk's Top Ten Complaints About
Riding in Voltron
Presented by Hunk
Top Ten Reasons I Wear a Headband
Presented by Hunk
Top Ten Things
A Voltron Force Captain Shouldn't Do
Presented by Keith
My Top Ten Favorite Terran Board Games
and Who I'd Want to Play Them With
Presented by Lance
Top Ten Reasons Why Keith and Allura
Have Not Become Intimate
(Rated PG-16)
Presented by Lance
Top Ten Reasons Why I Love to Wear Glasses
Presented by Pidge
Top Ten Vays
to Make a Norwegian Space Explorer
Fall In Love Vit You!
Presented by Sven
Top Ten Things
You Don't Want to Hear Witch Hagar Say
When She Comes to Visit
Presented by Witch Hagar
Top Ten list of the day
the Ten Things That Make Keith Tingly...!
Presented by Princess Allura
A tad bit NSFW
The Return of Top Tens
Top Ten Reasons I Love Hockey
Presented by Hunk (aka The Big Guy)
Why Being Part of Voltron
is Better than Being With a Prince
Presented by Princess Allura
Hunk's Top Ten Complaints About
Riding in Voltron
Presented by Hunk
Top Ten Reasons I Wear a Headband
Presented by Hunk
Top Ten Things
A Voltron Force Captain Shouldn't Do
Presented by Keith
My Top Ten Favorite Terran Board Games
and Who I'd Want to Play Them With
Presented by Lance
Top Ten Reasons Why Keith and Allura
Have Not Become Intimate
(Rated PG-16)
Presented by Lance
Top Ten Reasons Why I Love to Wear Glasses
Presented by Pidge
Top Ten Vays
to Make a Norwegian Space Explorer
Fall In Love Vit You!
Presented by Sven
Top Ten Things
You Don't Want to Hear Witch Hagar Say
When She Comes to Visit
Presented by Witch Hagar
There is an additional Top Ten in the Kitty Capers section...
Kitty Capers: The Case of the Missing Interview
Kitty Capers: The Case of the Missing Interview
By Zejan the Wonder Monkey
Visit Zejan's Treehouse for more fics
and Zejan's Deviantart page for more fanart!
Visit Zejan's Treehouse for more fics
and Zejan's Deviantart page for more fanart!
Allura: Okay, everyone! It's time for our Top Ten list of the day - the Ten Things That Make Keith Tingly...!
10) Greeted with a warm smile on the way to morning practice.
Keith: Mmm-hmm.
Allura: 9) Giggling when he makes a cute joke.
Keith: What kind of tingly are we talking about here?
Allura: These are *my* tinglies. I know you do, so stop trying to be coy.
Keith: ...
Allura: 8) Gentle touch on the arm and a soft smile.
Keith [makes a slight face]
Allura 7) A long, lingering look.
Keith: ...
Allura 6) Touching hands as we pass each other by.
5) Brushing my fingertips through his hair
4) Caressing his bare chest - one of my favorites! [giggles]
Keith: Umm...
3) Nibbling the earlobe.
Keith: Wait, this is not exactly kid-safe, you know...
Allura [looking Keith straight in the eye]: Lips gently brushing his throat.
Keith [blushes]
Allura: And the Number One Thing That Makes Keith All Tingly...tongue tickle on his -
Keith: STOP RIGHT THERE - !
Allura: What? I'm not lying...
Keith [takes the paper she's been reading]: Who wrote this? [scowls] EbilMonkey* - I should have known!
Allura: I approved the list, because it's true!
Keith: You need to stay AWAY from EbilMonkey*!
Allura: Why? She doesn't do anything to me. She listens when I vent.
Keith: That's the problem. No more venting to Ebil*. And no more of *this* either. [waves the paper at Allura]
Allura [pouts]: Ebil* is right - you have a stick up your -
Keith: Stop...!
Allura: Diamond factory.
Keith: !!!!!
Allura: Your tushie is versatile. And firm, I might add.
Keith: ...
Allura: There are worse things I could have chosen for my Top Ten, you know. I could have used a hard nip on your -
Keith: No.
Allura: Or my fingers brushing the length of your -
Keith: No...
Allura: Or my tongue feathering along your -
Keith: NO - ! STOP THAT AT ONCE!!!!
Allura: ...
Keith: What do you suppose people will think of you if you keep talking like that?
Allura: That I'm human, maybe...?
Keith: ...
* This K/A Top Ten brought to you by EbilMonkey... She looks an awful lot like Zejan the Wonder Monkey, only she's much more... Ebil... Bwahahahaha... ;)
10) Greeted with a warm smile on the way to morning practice.
Keith: Mmm-hmm.
Allura: 9) Giggling when he makes a cute joke.
Keith: What kind of tingly are we talking about here?
Allura: These are *my* tinglies. I know you do, so stop trying to be coy.
Keith: ...
Allura: 8) Gentle touch on the arm and a soft smile.
Keith [makes a slight face]
Allura 7) A long, lingering look.
Keith: ...
Allura 6) Touching hands as we pass each other by.
5) Brushing my fingertips through his hair
4) Caressing his bare chest - one of my favorites! [giggles]
Keith: Umm...
3) Nibbling the earlobe.
Keith: Wait, this is not exactly kid-safe, you know...
Allura [looking Keith straight in the eye]: Lips gently brushing his throat.
Keith [blushes]
Allura: And the Number One Thing That Makes Keith All Tingly...tongue tickle on his -
Keith: STOP RIGHT THERE - !
Allura: What? I'm not lying...
Keith [takes the paper she's been reading]: Who wrote this? [scowls] EbilMonkey* - I should have known!
Allura: I approved the list, because it's true!
Keith: You need to stay AWAY from EbilMonkey*!
Allura: Why? She doesn't do anything to me. She listens when I vent.
Keith: That's the problem. No more venting to Ebil*. And no more of *this* either. [waves the paper at Allura]
Allura [pouts]: Ebil* is right - you have a stick up your -
Keith: Stop...!
Allura: Diamond factory.
Keith: !!!!!
Allura: Your tushie is versatile. And firm, I might add.
Keith: ...
Allura: There are worse things I could have chosen for my Top Ten, you know. I could have used a hard nip on your -
Keith: No.
Allura: Or my fingers brushing the length of your -
Keith: No...
Allura: Or my tongue feathering along your -
Keith: NO - ! STOP THAT AT ONCE!!!!
Allura: ...
Keith: What do you suppose people will think of you if you keep talking like that?
Allura: That I'm human, maybe...?
Keith: ...
* This K/A Top Ten brought to you by EbilMonkey... She looks an awful lot like Zejan the Wonder Monkey, only she's much more... Ebil... Bwahahahaha... ;)
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author. The Kitties belong to themselves.
Oh yeah, and a heartfelt shout out to the recently retired David Letterman.
The Kitties are back in business, and I wanted to help the ladies celebrate with a couple contributions. But dang it, I was really having trouble coming up with some new material- it's been a while since I've done one of these lists. So anyway, I was messaging with KittyLynne one day, and I realized that we have a little something in common when it comes to being fans of a certain sport, and that got my muse going.
So, without further ado, straight from the home office at HC, with an assist from KL:
Top Ten Reasons I Love Hockey!
Number Ten: The game's played on a giant slippery sheet of ice. What's not to love about that?
Number Nine: The lingo- Slap shot, Hip check, Power Play, Chirping, Clap bomb, Grinder, Five hole, Hat Trick- is descriptively awesome. Oh, and speakin' of chirping...Lotor's a hoser.* Heh.
Number Eight: Hockey players are warriors. Pulling out their own teeth or getting double digit stitches for a cut and going right back in the game is nothing to them.
Number Seven: The Penalty Box: I ask ya, what other sport punishes rule breaking by making the perpetrator go sit in a locked box to ponder his misdeeds of shame for a specified time?
Number Six: Goalies wearing cool pieces of art over their faces while getting hit, pummeled and torpedoed by shots from all sides involving a hard disk of rubber going in excess of 100 mph.
Number Five: Hockey players do everything that players of other sports do at a sprint, forwards and backwards, avoiding bein' clobbered as they try to score by using a curved stick to hit a biscuit sized puck into a net that's blockaded...all while balancing on half inch wide, scalpel-sharp blades of steel.
Number Four: Goal horns. Noisy, obnoxious and pure joy when you're the home team!
Number Three: Spectator participation. Singing, cheers and taunts for the opposition are not only expected, but encouraged.
Number Two: In hockey, there's no way one player will win you a championship- from top to bottom, everyone on the team needs to work together and contribute, or you ain't goin' anywhere but down to defeat!
And the Number One Reason I love hockey: Assists from your teammates score points. :-)
*hoser: Canadian hockey derogatory term that is similar to the American "idiot" or "loser".
Oh yeah, and a heartfelt shout out to the recently retired David Letterman.
The Kitties are back in business, and I wanted to help the ladies celebrate with a couple contributions. But dang it, I was really having trouble coming up with some new material- it's been a while since I've done one of these lists. So anyway, I was messaging with KittyLynne one day, and I realized that we have a little something in common when it comes to being fans of a certain sport, and that got my muse going.
So, without further ado, straight from the home office at HC, with an assist from KL:
Top Ten Reasons I Love Hockey!
Number Ten: The game's played on a giant slippery sheet of ice. What's not to love about that?
Number Nine: The lingo- Slap shot, Hip check, Power Play, Chirping, Clap bomb, Grinder, Five hole, Hat Trick- is descriptively awesome. Oh, and speakin' of chirping...Lotor's a hoser.* Heh.
Number Eight: Hockey players are warriors. Pulling out their own teeth or getting double digit stitches for a cut and going right back in the game is nothing to them.
Number Seven: The Penalty Box: I ask ya, what other sport punishes rule breaking by making the perpetrator go sit in a locked box to ponder his misdeeds of shame for a specified time?
Number Six: Goalies wearing cool pieces of art over their faces while getting hit, pummeled and torpedoed by shots from all sides involving a hard disk of rubber going in excess of 100 mph.
Number Five: Hockey players do everything that players of other sports do at a sprint, forwards and backwards, avoiding bein' clobbered as they try to score by using a curved stick to hit a biscuit sized puck into a net that's blockaded...all while balancing on half inch wide, scalpel-sharp blades of steel.
Number Four: Goal horns. Noisy, obnoxious and pure joy when you're the home team!
Number Three: Spectator participation. Singing, cheers and taunts for the opposition are not only expected, but encouraged.
Number Two: In hockey, there's no way one player will win you a championship- from top to bottom, everyone on the team needs to work together and contribute, or you ain't goin' anywhere but down to defeat!
And the Number One Reason I love hockey: Assists from your teammates score points. :-)
*hoser: Canadian hockey derogatory term that is similar to the American "idiot" or "loser".
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
(Incoming Space transmission shows Princess Allura of Arus smiling brightly and waving to Terran 'net surfers. She picks up a letter and begins reading.)
Hello Everyone!
My dear friend Hunk asked me a while ago if I could write a sort of list for his new fan club site and I was more than delighted to do so (frowns) but as you know, I am not exactly noted for my sense of humor so this was a really difficult assignment. I just couldn't come up with a humorous topic at all. A lot of time passed while I pondered; then the HRH site went live and I got desperate for material.
I went to the team and asked them for suggestions, Lance seemed exceptionally eager to help me put this list together but Keith wouldn't let him. (Sighs in exasperation, and then leans forward confidingly) Just between you and me, the stoic Captain can get a little hot under the collar at times. Keith really came down on the poor guy for some reason, especially after he heard Lance offer to help me research the subject matter. Men! (rolls eyes dramatically)
I don't understand what was the big deal about Lance's suggestion, really, even though I have to admit that I don't know that 'Top Ten Ways to Get Princess Allura to Kiss Any Guy' would have been that funny...(shrugs)
I was really stuck until I called Princess Romelle on Pollux. (Smiles broadly) We had quite a chat-and speaking of humorous people, I think she's in love with Sv-oh! I almost said too much. Hunk was right, all of you are good listeners! You made me almost 'spill my guts' as Lance would say. (giggles)
In any case, here's what I wrote, I hope you enjoy it. And for the record, I think Hunk is very aptly named. (smiles and blushes)
Love and peace to you all,
Allura
Why Being Part of Voltron Is Better Than Being With A Prince
Number Ten!
Some Princes have offered me the moon, but I fly among the stars, so who cares?
Number Nine!
Because I 'm the only woman on a team with four handsome, adorable guys. (Okay, don't look at me like that; I said 'better than being with a Prince', not four brave men, so let's not split hairs!) ~_^
Number Eight!
Because no Prince could be wittier than Lance during a battle, stronger than Hunk, smarter than Pidge or more courageous than Keith. (sighs dreamily)
Number Seven!
Because it really irks Nanny! (grins)
Number Six!
Because the Blazing Sword is always ready when I am. (I don't know what that has to do with anything, but Cousin Romelle told me to write it down so I did.)
Number Five!
Princes don't have Megathrusters! (Another Romelle contribution, thanks Roma, you're a doll! :)
Number Four!
Because I'm career-driven. (Keith and I are a lot alike that way; which brings me to my next reason...)
Number Three!
Because Keith is the commander of my heart and I want to be with him. Forever. Enough said. (blushes furiously)
Number Two!
No Prince could give me the thrill that kicking RoBeast tushie does...
And the Number One reason that Being a Part of Voltron is Better Than Being with A Prince is
Two words: Prince Lotor!
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
(Incoming Space transmission shows Princess Allura of Arus smiling brightly and waving to Terran 'net surfers. She picks up a letter and begins reading.)
Hello Everyone!
My dear friend Hunk asked me a while ago if I could write a sort of list for his new fan club site and I was more than delighted to do so (frowns) but as you know, I am not exactly noted for my sense of humor so this was a really difficult assignment. I just couldn't come up with a humorous topic at all. A lot of time passed while I pondered; then the HRH site went live and I got desperate for material.
I went to the team and asked them for suggestions, Lance seemed exceptionally eager to help me put this list together but Keith wouldn't let him. (Sighs in exasperation, and then leans forward confidingly) Just between you and me, the stoic Captain can get a little hot under the collar at times. Keith really came down on the poor guy for some reason, especially after he heard Lance offer to help me research the subject matter. Men! (rolls eyes dramatically)
I don't understand what was the big deal about Lance's suggestion, really, even though I have to admit that I don't know that 'Top Ten Ways to Get Princess Allura to Kiss Any Guy' would have been that funny...(shrugs)
I was really stuck until I called Princess Romelle on Pollux. (Smiles broadly) We had quite a chat-and speaking of humorous people, I think she's in love with Sv-oh! I almost said too much. Hunk was right, all of you are good listeners! You made me almost 'spill my guts' as Lance would say. (giggles)
In any case, here's what I wrote, I hope you enjoy it. And for the record, I think Hunk is very aptly named. (smiles and blushes)
Love and peace to you all,
Allura
Why Being Part of Voltron Is Better Than Being With A Prince
Number Ten!
Some Princes have offered me the moon, but I fly among the stars, so who cares?
Number Nine!
Because I 'm the only woman on a team with four handsome, adorable guys. (Okay, don't look at me like that; I said 'better than being with a Prince', not four brave men, so let's not split hairs!) ~_^
Number Eight!
Because no Prince could be wittier than Lance during a battle, stronger than Hunk, smarter than Pidge or more courageous than Keith. (sighs dreamily)
Number Seven!
Because it really irks Nanny! (grins)
Number Six!
Because the Blazing Sword is always ready when I am. (I don't know what that has to do with anything, but Cousin Romelle told me to write it down so I did.)
Number Five!
Princes don't have Megathrusters! (Another Romelle contribution, thanks Roma, you're a doll! :)
Number Four!
Because I'm career-driven. (Keith and I are a lot alike that way; which brings me to my next reason...)
Number Three!
Because Keith is the commander of my heart and I want to be with him. Forever. Enough said. (blushes furiously)
Number Two!
No Prince could give me the thrill that kicking RoBeast tushie does...
And the Number One reason that Being a Part of Voltron is Better Than Being with A Prince is
Two words: Prince Lotor!
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
You may wonder what it's like to ride around in a giant mechanical man, and then again maybe you don't, maybe you could care less about it, let alone listening to me complain about. All part of being a hero, you say.
If that's the case, why are you reading this?
Heh, guess you care more than you thought you did!
Number Ten!
I never get to drive.
Number Nine!
RoBeasts are constantly stepping on me because I'm on the bottom.
Number Eight!
Not only am I at the bottom, I am the left foot, so I can't even kick RoBeast, uh, tushie. Talk about being expendable! Sheesh!
Number Seven!
Princess shrieking in my ear when the inevitable stowaway mouse shows up.
Number Six!
Keith constantly cussing and snarling in my ear when Lotor shows up.
Number Five!
Lance and his one legged Voltron jokes.
Number Four!
Flat-footed landings. They suck, big time.
Number Three!
Those evil electric jolts that always get thrown at us that make us all screech 'Uhhhhh', or 'Aaaaaahhhh' in sequence.
Number Two!
The fact that we're always on our feet; Voltron doesn't have a heinie to sit on, in case you didn't notice.
Number One!
My number one complaint? Not enough room for a refrigerator!
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
You may wonder what it's like to ride around in a giant mechanical man, and then again maybe you don't, maybe you could care less about it, let alone listening to me complain about. All part of being a hero, you say.
If that's the case, why are you reading this?
Heh, guess you care more than you thought you did!
Number Ten!
I never get to drive.
Number Nine!
RoBeasts are constantly stepping on me because I'm on the bottom.
Number Eight!
Not only am I at the bottom, I am the left foot, so I can't even kick RoBeast, uh, tushie. Talk about being expendable! Sheesh!
Number Seven!
Princess shrieking in my ear when the inevitable stowaway mouse shows up.
Number Six!
Keith constantly cussing and snarling in my ear when Lotor shows up.
Number Five!
Lance and his one legged Voltron jokes.
Number Four!
Flat-footed landings. They suck, big time.
Number Three!
Those evil electric jolts that always get thrown at us that make us all screech 'Uhhhhh', or 'Aaaaaahhhh' in sequence.
Number Two!
The fact that we're always on our feet; Voltron doesn't have a heinie to sit on, in case you didn't notice.
Number One!
My number one complaint? Not enough room for a refrigerator!
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Hiya People!
This list is in response to a frequently asked question regarding the reason I wear a headband. I reflected on an answer and came up with ten.
Number Ten!
It goes with my vest.
Number Nine!
Hair is kept out of eyes, which means a haircut from Nanny every ten weeks instead of six. That's a good thing.
Number Eight!
It hides zits.
Number Seven!
It's the source of my brute strength, take it away and I am as weak as a kitten. (Oops, I hope Lotor isn't reading this!)
Number Six!
Women like the 'Wild man' look!
Number Five!
The Princess likes it.
Number Four!
Pidge told me it draws attention away from my stomach.
Number Three!
Makes me feel like a Ninja!
Number Two!
Because it's yellow, and I happen to like yellow, duh.
Number One!
When a certain look works for you, don't mess with it. (Right, WEP?)
So there you have it...now please ask me something I can sink my teeth into...hm...like about a big juicy steak or something. Thanks.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Hiya People!
This list is in response to a frequently asked question regarding the reason I wear a headband. I reflected on an answer and came up with ten.
Number Ten!
It goes with my vest.
Number Nine!
Hair is kept out of eyes, which means a haircut from Nanny every ten weeks instead of six. That's a good thing.
Number Eight!
It hides zits.
Number Seven!
It's the source of my brute strength, take it away and I am as weak as a kitten. (Oops, I hope Lotor isn't reading this!)
Number Six!
Women like the 'Wild man' look!
Number Five!
The Princess likes it.
Number Four!
Pidge told me it draws attention away from my stomach.
Number Three!
Makes me feel like a Ninja!
Number Two!
Because it's yellow, and I happen to like yellow, duh.
Number One!
When a certain look works for you, don't mess with it. (Right, WEP?)
So there you have it...now please ask me something I can sink my teeth into...hm...like about a big juicy steak or something. Thanks.
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
**Shot of the handsome Captain Keith, in full uniform, striding down the corridors of 'The Hunk Club'. The door to a conference room opens and the Hunkster steps out.**
Hunk: (grinning) "Hey Chief, come right in, don't be shy! It looks like you're ready!"
Keith: (smiling) "As ready as I'll ever be."
**Keith and Hunk enter room to enthusiastic greetings from HRH members**
Keith: (shaking his head in apprehension as he waves sheet of paper around) "I don't know if I think this is such a good idea, Big Guy. I could be in deep, deep trouble if certain people see this." (holds up list)
Hunk: (patting his Captain's back reassuringly) "Don't worry Keith, the Kitties will make sure nothing happens to you."
Keith: (raising one thick brow) "The Lions are guarding the Hunk Club?"
Hunk: (smirking) "Well, yeah, them too, sorta. Yellow is, anyway...but I was referring to all my Kitties. **Winks at Hunk Club members**
Partying Members: (led by a dreamy eyed KittyLynne, chant:) "Go for it! Go for it!"
Keith: (smiling) "Okay, okay..." **nervously clears throat, as room quiets**
"It's an honor and my distinct privilege to participate in a wonderful tribute to an old friend. When the lovely Hunkateers asked me to submit a Top Ten topic, I resisted at first...but when they said 'Please, Captain, do it for the Big Guy', I just couldn't say no. After all, the man is an absolute rock, and without him, there wouldn't be a Voltron."
**smiles and shakes Hunk's hand, then waits for applause to die down.**
"So, without further ado, I present ...
Top Ten Things A Voltron Force Captain Shouldn't Do...
Number 10! Blow bubbles in the communal hot tub!
Number 9! Brag about the size of his lion!
Number 8! Shout "HOO-YAH!" when zipping down the launch chute!
Number 7! Gloat and flip off Witch Hagar when her spells fail!
Number 6! Give millions of on-lookers a cheap thrill but putting on a toga and running to kiss the Princess in the middle of a bridge!"
**Keith grins at Hunk, who is laughing uproariously, and turning beet red.**
Number 5! Drop pants and 'moon' Prince Lotor from the Castle Observation Deck!
Number Four! Order the Princess to stay back at the castle where it's safe!
Number Three! Expect the Princess to follow the order to stay at the castle where it's safe!"
**Hunk grins knowingly at Keith, who blushes**
"Uh...where was I? Oh yeah,
Number Two! Run away from anything, with the possible exception of overprotective Nannies."
**Both Keith and Hunk crack up at this, as do the members. Keith eventually composes himself and continues**
"And the Number One thing a Voltron Captain shouldn't do is..."
**Keith squints at handwriting**
"Hey, someone crossed out my number one answer and wrote something else...I can't make it out. Can you, Hunk?"
"Sure, Skipper!"
**Hunk takes paper, squints, and then begins reading**
"And...The Number One Thing A Voltron Captain Shouldn't Do Is ...Say 'Hey! What about me?' after the Princess lays a big, wet one on Lance."
**members laugh and applaud as Keith snatches paper away from Hunk.**
Hunk: (shrugging) "Looks like Lance's chicken scratch to me."
Keith: (fuming) "He's lion meat!"
Hunk: (smiling slyly) "By the way, have you read his Top Ten list...or Allura's yet?"
Keith: (looking wary) "No...I didn't want to pry."
Hunk: (grinning openly) "I think maybe you might want to take a look..."
**steers a bewildered Keith out of the room**
KittyLynne: (standing and addressing the room) "Five bucks says Hunk gets Lance's desserts for a month!"
**general chaos ensues as the bets are placed**
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
**Shot of the handsome Captain Keith, in full uniform, striding down the corridors of 'The Hunk Club'. The door to a conference room opens and the Hunkster steps out.**
Hunk: (grinning) "Hey Chief, come right in, don't be shy! It looks like you're ready!"
Keith: (smiling) "As ready as I'll ever be."
**Keith and Hunk enter room to enthusiastic greetings from HRH members**
Keith: (shaking his head in apprehension as he waves sheet of paper around) "I don't know if I think this is such a good idea, Big Guy. I could be in deep, deep trouble if certain people see this." (holds up list)
Hunk: (patting his Captain's back reassuringly) "Don't worry Keith, the Kitties will make sure nothing happens to you."
Keith: (raising one thick brow) "The Lions are guarding the Hunk Club?"
Hunk: (smirking) "Well, yeah, them too, sorta. Yellow is, anyway...but I was referring to all my Kitties. **Winks at Hunk Club members**
Partying Members: (led by a dreamy eyed KittyLynne, chant:) "Go for it! Go for it!"
Keith: (smiling) "Okay, okay..." **nervously clears throat, as room quiets**
"It's an honor and my distinct privilege to participate in a wonderful tribute to an old friend. When the lovely Hunkateers asked me to submit a Top Ten topic, I resisted at first...but when they said 'Please, Captain, do it for the Big Guy', I just couldn't say no. After all, the man is an absolute rock, and without him, there wouldn't be a Voltron."
**smiles and shakes Hunk's hand, then waits for applause to die down.**
"So, without further ado, I present ...
Top Ten Things A Voltron Force Captain Shouldn't Do...
Number 10! Blow bubbles in the communal hot tub!
Number 9! Brag about the size of his lion!
Number 8! Shout "HOO-YAH!" when zipping down the launch chute!
Number 7! Gloat and flip off Witch Hagar when her spells fail!
Number 6! Give millions of on-lookers a cheap thrill but putting on a toga and running to kiss the Princess in the middle of a bridge!"
**Keith grins at Hunk, who is laughing uproariously, and turning beet red.**
Number 5! Drop pants and 'moon' Prince Lotor from the Castle Observation Deck!
Number Four! Order the Princess to stay back at the castle where it's safe!
Number Three! Expect the Princess to follow the order to stay at the castle where it's safe!"
**Hunk grins knowingly at Keith, who blushes**
"Uh...where was I? Oh yeah,
Number Two! Run away from anything, with the possible exception of overprotective Nannies."
**Both Keith and Hunk crack up at this, as do the members. Keith eventually composes himself and continues**
"And the Number One thing a Voltron Captain shouldn't do is..."
**Keith squints at handwriting**
"Hey, someone crossed out my number one answer and wrote something else...I can't make it out. Can you, Hunk?"
"Sure, Skipper!"
**Hunk takes paper, squints, and then begins reading**
"And...The Number One Thing A Voltron Captain Shouldn't Do Is ...Say 'Hey! What about me?' after the Princess lays a big, wet one on Lance."
**members laugh and applaud as Keith snatches paper away from Hunk.**
Hunk: (shrugging) "Looks like Lance's chicken scratch to me."
Keith: (fuming) "He's lion meat!"
Hunk: (smiling slyly) "By the way, have you read his Top Ten list...or Allura's yet?"
Keith: (looking wary) "No...I didn't want to pry."
Hunk: (grinning openly) "I think maybe you might want to take a look..."
**steers a bewildered Keith out of the room**
KittyLynne: (standing and addressing the room) "Five bucks says Hunk gets Lance's desserts for a month!"
**general chaos ensues as the bets are placed**
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author. Hasbro, Inc. owns the copyrights to all games mentioned in this list.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Number Ten!
Scruples- (With Lotor- because there’s no way he could cheat on this one, heh.)
Number Nine!
Sorry! (This one has Keith written all over it...see Number Eight.)
Number Eight!
Twister- (With Princess Allura-for obvious reasons. Hee hee, Sorry Keith!)
Number Seven!
Hi-Ho Cherry-O (Another Allura selection, and no, I am not going to elaborate here! Go ask the Mad Punster.)
Number Six!
Guesstures- (With the Space Mice- maybe for once I can finally figure out what they’re squeaking about!)
Number Five!
Outburst- (With Hunk- he’d definitely give me a run for my money)
Number Four!
Ultimate Outburst- (This one is definitely Nanny material. ’Nuff said.)
Number Three!
Mousetrap- (With Pidge, of course- because he’s always looking for a way to build a better one.)
Number Two!
Balderdash- (With Coran. He’s a diplomat- so he’s good at it.)
And now, my Number One Favorite Terran Board Game, And Who I’d Want To Play It With Is-
Trouble- (With as many people as I can sucker into it!)
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Number Ten!
Scruples- (With Lotor- because there’s no way he could cheat on this one, heh.)
Number Nine!
Sorry! (This one has Keith written all over it...see Number Eight.)
Number Eight!
Twister- (With Princess Allura-for obvious reasons. Hee hee, Sorry Keith!)
Number Seven!
Hi-Ho Cherry-O (Another Allura selection, and no, I am not going to elaborate here! Go ask the Mad Punster.)
Number Six!
Guesstures- (With the Space Mice- maybe for once I can finally figure out what they’re squeaking about!)
Number Five!
Outburst- (With Hunk- he’d definitely give me a run for my money)
Number Four!
Ultimate Outburst- (This one is definitely Nanny material. ’Nuff said.)
Number Three!
Mousetrap- (With Pidge, of course- because he’s always looking for a way to build a better one.)
Number Two!
Balderdash- (With Coran. He’s a diplomat- so he’s good at it.)
And now, my Number One Favorite Terran Board Game, And Who I’d Want To Play It With Is-
Trouble- (With as many people as I can sucker into it!)
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author. Hasbro, Inc. owns the copyrights to all games mentioned in this list.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Announcer: "We now return you to your regular programming, already in progress." (Face of nondescript talk show hostess appears on screen, mouth moving silently as commercial music blasts in the background, then fades abruptly)
Hostess Lynne: (to smiling co-host, Shannon) "He was wearing my purple suede spikes, I kid you not...Oh hello, we're back! Let's get on with it, shall we?" (Drum Roll...)
"And now...here in my right hand...from the home office in Linwood, Minnesota...back by absolutely no demand whatsoever-
It's the Voltron Top Ten List!"
(Sound of one hand clapping)
"Ahem, I said...it's the Voltron Top Ten List!"
(Smattering of applause)
Hostess Lynne: (Mumbling to herself) "Hm, pretty weak. These people are going to have to liven up a little. Okay, where was I- oh yeah, the list."
"Today's list....
Top Ten Reasons Why Keith and Allura Have Not Become Intimate!
And here to read the list for us tonight is the one, the only...Lance, pilot of Red Lion!"
(Wild applause, screams from the women in the audience)
(Cut to shot of Lance being shoved onstage by feminine arms)
Hostess Lynne: (hissing) "Come on, Lance, get out here, people are waiting!"
Lance: (glaring backstage and then turning to glare at hostess) "Hey, Lynne...I don't really want to know ... why are you doing this?"
Hostess Lynne: (shrugging) "For ratings, what else?"
Lance:(groaning) "Why do I always have to do yours and Lady Shannon's 'dirty' work?"
(Hostess Lynne waves at Shannon, and holds up picture in front of Lance's nose)
Lance:(cringing) "Oh yeah, that's why." (enthusiastically) "Okay, where's that list!?" (clears throat, begins to read)
"Top Ten Reasons Why Keith and Allura Have Not Become Intimate!
Number Ten!
Total absence of doors that lock in Castle!
(Giggles from audience)
Number Nine!
Appearance of Lotor always spoiling the mood!
(audience chuckles and murmurs in agreement)
Number Eight!
Keith can't find zipper on pink jumpsuit!
(Loud laughter from male members of audience)
Number Seven!
Allura can't find zipper on red jumpsuit...okay, she can but she's too shy.
(Audience: Aw....)
Number Six!
Nanbo and her number ten skillet.
(Lance interjects, smirking: I can vouch for that one! Guffaws from crowd.)
Number Five!
Too afraid the mice will tattle.
(Silence from crowd. Lance rolls his eyes.)
Number Four!
Allura wants a pet unicorn one day.
(A few chuckles, some tittering.)
Number Three!
Blazing Sword too hot to handle!
(loud laughter. cat calls from audience)
Number Two!
There's this little detail regarding a ceremony and a white dress...
(sighs from females in audience)
And the Number One reason Keith and Allura haven't done The Deed, the Wild Thing, the-".
Hostess Lynne: (interrupting) "Please...just stick to the script, Lance!"
Lance: (pouting) "I never get to have any fun...." (continues)
"And the Number One reason is...
Two words: Performance anxiety!"
(Uproarious laughter and applause, Lance takes a bow.)
Hostess Lynne: "Thank you Lieutenant, we appreciate you being here today."
Lance: (muttering under his breath, "like I had a choice!") "Ahem, You are very welcome. I live to serve."
(giggles from females in audience as Red Lion pilot gives them a huge wink)
Hostess Lynne: (dismissively) "Yes, I'm sure you do. Well, that's all she wrote, people. See you next time!"
(Music and credits roll. fade to black)
This had been a presentation of EvilLynne Enterprises. Parts of this broadcast have been edited beyond recognition. The opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the management or they could be. We haven't decided yet.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Announcer: "We now return you to your regular programming, already in progress." (Face of nondescript talk show hostess appears on screen, mouth moving silently as commercial music blasts in the background, then fades abruptly)
Hostess Lynne: (to smiling co-host, Shannon) "He was wearing my purple suede spikes, I kid you not...Oh hello, we're back! Let's get on with it, shall we?" (Drum Roll...)
"And now...here in my right hand...from the home office in Linwood, Minnesota...back by absolutely no demand whatsoever-
It's the Voltron Top Ten List!"
(Sound of one hand clapping)
"Ahem, I said...it's the Voltron Top Ten List!"
(Smattering of applause)
Hostess Lynne: (Mumbling to herself) "Hm, pretty weak. These people are going to have to liven up a little. Okay, where was I- oh yeah, the list."
"Today's list....
Top Ten Reasons Why Keith and Allura Have Not Become Intimate!
And here to read the list for us tonight is the one, the only...Lance, pilot of Red Lion!"
(Wild applause, screams from the women in the audience)
(Cut to shot of Lance being shoved onstage by feminine arms)
Hostess Lynne: (hissing) "Come on, Lance, get out here, people are waiting!"
Lance: (glaring backstage and then turning to glare at hostess) "Hey, Lynne...I don't really want to know ... why are you doing this?"
Hostess Lynne: (shrugging) "For ratings, what else?"
Lance:(groaning) "Why do I always have to do yours and Lady Shannon's 'dirty' work?"
(Hostess Lynne waves at Shannon, and holds up picture in front of Lance's nose)
Lance:(cringing) "Oh yeah, that's why." (enthusiastically) "Okay, where's that list!?" (clears throat, begins to read)
"Top Ten Reasons Why Keith and Allura Have Not Become Intimate!
Number Ten!
Total absence of doors that lock in Castle!
(Giggles from audience)
Number Nine!
Appearance of Lotor always spoiling the mood!
(audience chuckles and murmurs in agreement)
Number Eight!
Keith can't find zipper on pink jumpsuit!
(Loud laughter from male members of audience)
Number Seven!
Allura can't find zipper on red jumpsuit...okay, she can but she's too shy.
(Audience: Aw....)
Number Six!
Nanbo and her number ten skillet.
(Lance interjects, smirking: I can vouch for that one! Guffaws from crowd.)
Number Five!
Too afraid the mice will tattle.
(Silence from crowd. Lance rolls his eyes.)
Number Four!
Allura wants a pet unicorn one day.
(A few chuckles, some tittering.)
Number Three!
Blazing Sword too hot to handle!
(loud laughter. cat calls from audience)
Number Two!
There's this little detail regarding a ceremony and a white dress...
(sighs from females in audience)
And the Number One reason Keith and Allura haven't done The Deed, the Wild Thing, the-".
Hostess Lynne: (interrupting) "Please...just stick to the script, Lance!"
Lance: (pouting) "I never get to have any fun...." (continues)
"And the Number One reason is...
Two words: Performance anxiety!"
(Uproarious laughter and applause, Lance takes a bow.)
Hostess Lynne: "Thank you Lieutenant, we appreciate you being here today."
Lance: (muttering under his breath, "like I had a choice!") "Ahem, You are very welcome. I live to serve."
(giggles from females in audience as Red Lion pilot gives them a huge wink)
Hostess Lynne: (dismissively) "Yes, I'm sure you do. Well, that's all she wrote, people. See you next time!"
(Music and credits roll. fade to black)
This had been a presentation of EvilLynne Enterprises. Parts of this broadcast have been edited beyond recognition. The opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the management or they could be. We haven't decided yet.
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Author's Note: By KittyLynne, with some big help from her little friend Cheesy the Space Hamster-Thank you, Cheesy! You da hamster! :D
**As we look in on our favorite Big Man, we see him sitting at the conference table in the HRH lounge, drinking a cola and munching on corn chips as he peruses this month's edition of Popular Mechas. Although deeply absorbed in an article about souped-up dynatherms, he still glances up alertly when he hears the door slowly slide open. His wariness changes to amusement as he spies the oddly garbed figure, dressed head to toe in green that appears in the open doorway.
The red haired pilot of Green Lion doffs his silk top hat and stares in bemusement at the four leaf clover stuck in its brim, before coming forward to carefully set it on the table. Hunk's grin escalates to a chuckle as he peruses the knickers his buddy is wearing, and the outlandish, high heeled buckled shoes that clink softly as the youth shuffles uncomfortably from foot to foot. Unable able to resist the impulse to tease his friend, Hunk affects a broad and very corny Irish lilt.**
"Why sure and begorrah, if it isn't Pidgey O'Leprechaun, wearing the green 'o the Emerald Isle. Pull up a stool and a pint o' ginger ale, lad, and tell me about your pot o' gold."
"Very funny. So funny I forgot to laugh," Pidge mutters. He adjusts his knickers before plopping down on the cushioned chair across from Hunk. With a sigh, he kicks off the offending footwear.
"Ah, don't take it so hard, lad, the Kitties are full o' the blarney, t'would be enough to turn anyone's head." Hunk informs his friend impishly. "It happens to Lance all the time."
"If you think telling me that is going to make it better...you're absolutely right!" Pidge laughs, then shakes his head. "It's actually not the clothes at all, Hunk...it's the fact that I am the centerpiece for March that's bothering me! I'm not used to all this attention! Now suddenly there are pictures of me, a story in the works about me and-" He breaks off, waving his hands in an overwhelmed gesture.
"I kinda know how you feel, little buddy, it took me a while to get used to the idea of having a fan site!" The Hunkster says, in his normal, gravelly voice. "Did the Kitties ask you for any ideas?"
Pidge brightens at the question. He reaches into his sport coat to pull forth a neatly written list. "They asked me for a Top Ten list to go with that great one of Sparkle Pop's..."
Hunk grins and leans back, putting his arms behind his head and his massive, booted feet up on the table. "Care to run it by me first?"
"Sure!" Pidge self consciously adjusts his glasses and begins to read.
'Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Wearing Glasses'
By Pidge
**Hunk interjects: "Great topic, I like it!" Pidge smiles broadly at his companion. "Thanks, buddy! It seemed a safe choice after Lance's little 'Keith and Allura' debacle!" The two friends share a hearty laugh at their teammate's expense. Pidge eventually composes himself and begins again.**
"Top Ten Reasons Why I Love to Wear Glasses!
Number Ten! They give me a vulnerable air that makes women want to hug me.
Number Nine! Thanks to the protection of glasses, I don't have to wear one of those stupid visors on my helmet.
Number Eight! I can take them off and clean them when I want to avoid looking at Nanny, or at Lance when he first gets up in the morning. (Ewww! Talk about a grouchy, stubbly rack head!)
Number Seven! Due to lens magnification, no one can do 'big, sad, puppy eyes' better than me.
Number Six! If the light is just right, I can see behind me without turning around. (Much to Keith and Allura's eternal dismay, hee hee!)
Number Five! People tend to underestimate a kid with glasses, which is why I was able to single-handedly save the Princess from Lotor's clutches, and get a really big kiss from her for doing it, heh heh.
Number Four! They come in handy for reflected light distress signals if I am stranded in the outback.
Number Three! No one ever hits a guy with glasses in the kisser, therefore my boyish good looks will stay intact.
Number Two! Able to replace regular lenses with x-ray ones ordered from back cover of manga. Va va voom!
And the Number one reason I lllooovvveee to wear glasses is: Check it out! I have the whole 'Harry Potter' look going on!"
**As Pidge finishes, Hunk laughs and claps loudly.**
"Good job, buddy, although you forgot to mention that they are also the official eyewear of the magnificent 'Splatboy!'"
They giggle a little, and then Hunk adds, "Hey, I am real sorry about the Leprechaun suit, the Kitties mean well, but sometimes they go a little overboard."
Pidge laughs slyly, as he slides on his shoes. "No problem, I'm just glad I was this month's theme...I pity the April ' fool' that will have to wear the giant bunny costume they have tucked away." He leaps up from the table as the Yellow Lion pilot suddenly sits upright, his feet hitting the floor with a mighty thump. " Have to take my list to the girls now. See ya!"
**He grabs his hat and beats a hasty retreat, leaving an open mouthed Hunk behind him.
Panicked thoughts traipse through the Hunkster's mind in the quiet following his teammate's departure, his snack and magazine still lying on the table- all but forgotten as he ponders the implications.**
~April means...spring, and sunshine...the earth springing to life-yellow is a spring color! They wouldn't do that to me-would they?~ He snorts in disgust at his own naiveté. ~Of course they would! Well, forewarned is forearmed, I always say. Hm. Hey, I know! Allura has golden hair and blue eyes, and she's as cute, shy and gentle as a bunny would be...maybe I can talk her into wearing it instead!~
**Hunk then leaps up and exits the room, determined to waste no time in launching 'Operation Fluffy'...**
The End?
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Author's Note: By KittyLynne, with some big help from her little friend Cheesy the Space Hamster-Thank you, Cheesy! You da hamster! :D
**As we look in on our favorite Big Man, we see him sitting at the conference table in the HRH lounge, drinking a cola and munching on corn chips as he peruses this month's edition of Popular Mechas. Although deeply absorbed in an article about souped-up dynatherms, he still glances up alertly when he hears the door slowly slide open. His wariness changes to amusement as he spies the oddly garbed figure, dressed head to toe in green that appears in the open doorway.
The red haired pilot of Green Lion doffs his silk top hat and stares in bemusement at the four leaf clover stuck in its brim, before coming forward to carefully set it on the table. Hunk's grin escalates to a chuckle as he peruses the knickers his buddy is wearing, and the outlandish, high heeled buckled shoes that clink softly as the youth shuffles uncomfortably from foot to foot. Unable able to resist the impulse to tease his friend, Hunk affects a broad and very corny Irish lilt.**
"Why sure and begorrah, if it isn't Pidgey O'Leprechaun, wearing the green 'o the Emerald Isle. Pull up a stool and a pint o' ginger ale, lad, and tell me about your pot o' gold."
"Very funny. So funny I forgot to laugh," Pidge mutters. He adjusts his knickers before plopping down on the cushioned chair across from Hunk. With a sigh, he kicks off the offending footwear.
"Ah, don't take it so hard, lad, the Kitties are full o' the blarney, t'would be enough to turn anyone's head." Hunk informs his friend impishly. "It happens to Lance all the time."
"If you think telling me that is going to make it better...you're absolutely right!" Pidge laughs, then shakes his head. "It's actually not the clothes at all, Hunk...it's the fact that I am the centerpiece for March that's bothering me! I'm not used to all this attention! Now suddenly there are pictures of me, a story in the works about me and-" He breaks off, waving his hands in an overwhelmed gesture.
"I kinda know how you feel, little buddy, it took me a while to get used to the idea of having a fan site!" The Hunkster says, in his normal, gravelly voice. "Did the Kitties ask you for any ideas?"
Pidge brightens at the question. He reaches into his sport coat to pull forth a neatly written list. "They asked me for a Top Ten list to go with that great one of Sparkle Pop's..."
Hunk grins and leans back, putting his arms behind his head and his massive, booted feet up on the table. "Care to run it by me first?"
"Sure!" Pidge self consciously adjusts his glasses and begins to read.
'Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Wearing Glasses'
By Pidge
**Hunk interjects: "Great topic, I like it!" Pidge smiles broadly at his companion. "Thanks, buddy! It seemed a safe choice after Lance's little 'Keith and Allura' debacle!" The two friends share a hearty laugh at their teammate's expense. Pidge eventually composes himself and begins again.**
"Top Ten Reasons Why I Love to Wear Glasses!
Number Ten! They give me a vulnerable air that makes women want to hug me.
Number Nine! Thanks to the protection of glasses, I don't have to wear one of those stupid visors on my helmet.
Number Eight! I can take them off and clean them when I want to avoid looking at Nanny, or at Lance when he first gets up in the morning. (Ewww! Talk about a grouchy, stubbly rack head!)
Number Seven! Due to lens magnification, no one can do 'big, sad, puppy eyes' better than me.
Number Six! If the light is just right, I can see behind me without turning around. (Much to Keith and Allura's eternal dismay, hee hee!)
Number Five! People tend to underestimate a kid with glasses, which is why I was able to single-handedly save the Princess from Lotor's clutches, and get a really big kiss from her for doing it, heh heh.
Number Four! They come in handy for reflected light distress signals if I am stranded in the outback.
Number Three! No one ever hits a guy with glasses in the kisser, therefore my boyish good looks will stay intact.
Number Two! Able to replace regular lenses with x-ray ones ordered from back cover of manga. Va va voom!
And the Number one reason I lllooovvveee to wear glasses is: Check it out! I have the whole 'Harry Potter' look going on!"
**As Pidge finishes, Hunk laughs and claps loudly.**
"Good job, buddy, although you forgot to mention that they are also the official eyewear of the magnificent 'Splatboy!'"
They giggle a little, and then Hunk adds, "Hey, I am real sorry about the Leprechaun suit, the Kitties mean well, but sometimes they go a little overboard."
Pidge laughs slyly, as he slides on his shoes. "No problem, I'm just glad I was this month's theme...I pity the April ' fool' that will have to wear the giant bunny costume they have tucked away." He leaps up from the table as the Yellow Lion pilot suddenly sits upright, his feet hitting the floor with a mighty thump. " Have to take my list to the girls now. See ya!"
**He grabs his hat and beats a hasty retreat, leaving an open mouthed Hunk behind him.
Panicked thoughts traipse through the Hunkster's mind in the quiet following his teammate's departure, his snack and magazine still lying on the table- all but forgotten as he ponders the implications.**
~April means...spring, and sunshine...the earth springing to life-yellow is a spring color! They wouldn't do that to me-would they?~ He snorts in disgust at his own naiveté. ~Of course they would! Well, forewarned is forearmed, I always say. Hm. Hey, I know! Allura has golden hair and blue eyes, and she's as cute, shy and gentle as a bunny would be...maybe I can talk her into wearing it instead!~
**Hunk then leaps up and exits the room, determined to waste no time in launching 'Operation Fluffy'...**
The End?
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Author's Note: WEP owns Voltron and I own a lefse iron, a rolling pin and ten pounds of potatoes.
Today finds us in the empty auditorium at HRH, which is all set up for a late day taping of 'The Hunkateer Show'. At stage left, we see Hunk and the Kitties chatting animatedly with the show's head- set wearing director. A little ways away, a dark haired, incredibly handsome man clad head to toe in navy blue sits alone at the edge of the platform. His legs and feet dangle and swing to and fro, as he waits for his cue to start the rehearsal.
Suddenly the doors to the auditorium fly open with a loud bang, and a gorgeous blonde wearing a short pink and white dress enters the scene. She calls out a greeting to the lone figure, and then runs up the center aisle, excitedly waving a piece of paper. Her radiant beauty, dazzling smile and spectacular figure cause quite a stir among the male members of the show's production crew and puts a loving grin on the somber face of the gentleman in blue.
Romelle: (Hopping up on the stage next to her beloved.) "Here it is, darling!"
Sven: (taking the paper from her and looking it over briefly) "Yumpin' yiminy, Roma, I yust can't believe the Kitties talked you into talking me into doing one of their crazy lists!"
Romelle: (blinking innocently) "As I recall, my talking you into it had nothing to do with it."
Sven: (starting to smile) "Ya, that's true. Sometimes actions do speak louder dan vords."
(Sven leans toward his beloved Princess, his clear blue gaze filled with intent. Slowly he dips his head, and hers tilts up, as their lips part in anticipation of a kiss. The moment seems timeless, as Sven's mouth hovers only a hair's breadth away from Romelle's. The spell is broken, however, by the repetitive clinking of a fork on a glass. Sven and Romelle jump apart and glare over their shoulders at the three Hunkateers now standing right behind them, KittyCaro and KittyShannon look embarrassed, even while an oblivious KittyLynne continues to happily clink away.)
KittyShannon: (hissing) "Lynne, knock it off!" (gently elbows KL)
KittyLynne: (in clueless tones) "What? What's wrong? Aren't they kissing yet?" (She slows and then stops her clinking as she finally notices the glares directed at her.) "Whoops, sorry! Heh, heh, I guess I ruined a rare S & R moment!" (She sheepishly hides the glass and fork behind her back.)
KittyShannon: (looking amused) "You most certainly did! Just what were you trying to do anyway, KL?"
KittyCaro: (looking puzzled) "Yes, chica, I was just wondering the same thing!"
KittyLynne: (a mite defensively) "Well, weddings are the theme this month, right?" (The other Kitties nod) "Well, I was just practicing the quaint custom of clinking a glass to make the bride and groom kiss. WildBlade suggested it after we-" (KL stops and turns as red as a peony)
KittyShannon: (smiling wickedly) "WildBlade? As in, 'Let's play hockey and knock some people on their overly padded butts' WildBlade? "
KittyLynne: (trying not to smile) "Uh-huh."
KittyCaro: (innocently) "So what happened to Keith?"
KittyLynne: (looking secretive) "Um...nothing...he's still my secret honey..." (starts to fidget)
KittyShannon: (arching a brow and smiling mischievously) "Hm. And just what do you mean by-"
Sven: (breaking in with a charming smile) "Excuse me ladies, but are you sure you vant us to rehearse this list now? Ve can come back later, it vould be no trouble."
The Kitties look at each other in chagrin, and then break into profuse apologies.
KittyLynne: (looking remorseful) "Oh dear...Sven, we're so sorry for our rudeness in ignoring you and the Princess!"
KittyCaro: (looking distraught) "Terribly, terribly sorry."
KittyShannon: (looking very contrite) "Please, oh please...forgive us!"
Sven: (wryly) "Dat's okay, ve are used to being ignored." (Romelle nods sadly.)
The disconsolate Kitties murmur amongst themselves. Their ears and tails are now drooping, adding to the general atmosphere of dismay.
Romelle: (smiling kindly at the Kitties) "Do not worry, dear ladies, we know the three of you appreciate and believe in us as a romantic couple, otherwise you would not have invited us here."
The Kitties brighten at once at hearing her gracious words.
KittyCaro: (nodding emphatically) "We most certainly do think you're a wonderful couple!"
KittyShannon: (smiling brightly) "Most definitely!"
KittyLynne: (waving hands enthusiastically) "Jeg tror at De er det per fekte romantiske paret."*
Sven: (grinning) "Mane takk, KittyLynne. Now, let's get down to business, ya? I vill read this list to you ladies, und you can tell me if I need to vork on my delivery." (Holding the list out in front of him, Sven begins to read loudly, gesturing grandly with his free hand while projecting to the empty room in his distinctive vocal style.)
Top Ten Vays To Make A Norwegian Space Explorer Fall In Love Vit You!
Number Ten! Compliment him on his very charming brogue.
Number Nine! Show him you can eat lutefisk without holding your nose. (Or just eat lutefisk- period. Either vay he'll be impressed!)
Number Eight! Compliment him on his delightful collection of 'Good Luck Trolls', even if you tink dey look more hideous dan King Zarkon.
Number Seven! Get trown into a pit full of skulls so he can rescue you. Den look deeply into his eyes as you tank him for saving you.
Number Six! Force him to navigate for you when you pilot the getaway ship, so he can regain his confidence and redeem himself to the vorld. Den look deeply into his eyes as you tank him for saving you.
Number Five! Go back to Planet Doom to free da slaves. Run into the sights of a sniper so he has to tackle you to da ground to prevent you from getting hurt. As he's lying on top of you, look deeply into his eyes ...okay, okay, you should know da drill by now! Yeesh!
Number Four! Make a point of learning the difference between 'Uff Da' und 'Fee Da'!
Number Three! Show him you're not afraid to get 'down and dirty' vit da boys! (Learning to throw a grenade is a good place to start.)
Number Two! Instead of arguing, give him a special knife vhen he's tells you he's about to go up against Lotor. Tell him your heart is vit him.
Sven stops to clear his throat, as he sends a loving glance at Romelle. The Kitties sigh and exchange happy glances. After taking a moment to compose himself, Sven continues.
And finally...the Number One Vay To Make A Norwegian Space Explorer Fall In Love Vit You is...
Laugh at his jokes, no matter how annoying dey are. I repeat- laugh at his jokes no matter HOW annoying dey are!
The Kitties start to giggle hysterically, as does Romelle.
Sven: (looking askance at his Princess) "Someting tells me those sly Kitty-Cats had a little 'hjelpe'* writing this."
Romelle: (grinning) "Despite appearances, you're not the only one on Planet Pollux with a sense of humor, you know."
Sven: (now smiling wickedly) "I know. And you should have put it on your list, because I find it an incredible turn-on." (Sven suddenly grabs Romelle, pulls her into his body and gives her a stirring, passionate kiss. The Kitties gasp with titillated delight.)
Romelle: (coming up for air and purring happily) "Oh my..."
Sven: (in husky tones) "Vould you like me to do my special dance for you?"
Romelle: (smiling sexily) "Uh-huh..." (They go into a fervent clinch. Cat-calls and whistles fill the air, but Sven and Romelle ignore them.)
KittyLynne smiles as an idea pops into her head. She walks over the embracing couple and dangles a key next to Sven's face.
KittyLynne: "Okay, you newlyweds- here are the keys to my dressing room! Make sure you return them when you're through, and keeping mind that taping starts in two hours."
Without breaking the kiss, Sven reaches for and palms the keys.
KittyShannon and KittyCaro: (in unison) "But KL, where are you going to get dressed?"
KittyLynne: (looking sly) "Why, in the locker room of course! Hm, that reminds me, I better go now and get my costume before I get locked out!" (KL then exchanges 'air kisses' with the other Kitties and with a flick of her tail, all but dances away.)
KittyCaro: (looking bewildered) "HRH has a locker room?"
KittyShannon: (grinning and shaking her head) "We do now."
To be continued....~_^
*Author's Translations:
"Hjelpe" means "help"
"Jeg tror at De er det perfekte romantiske paret." translates as "I think you are the perfect romantic couple."
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
Author's Note: WEP owns Voltron and I own a lefse iron, a rolling pin and ten pounds of potatoes.
Today finds us in the empty auditorium at HRH, which is all set up for a late day taping of 'The Hunkateer Show'. At stage left, we see Hunk and the Kitties chatting animatedly with the show's head- set wearing director. A little ways away, a dark haired, incredibly handsome man clad head to toe in navy blue sits alone at the edge of the platform. His legs and feet dangle and swing to and fro, as he waits for his cue to start the rehearsal.
Suddenly the doors to the auditorium fly open with a loud bang, and a gorgeous blonde wearing a short pink and white dress enters the scene. She calls out a greeting to the lone figure, and then runs up the center aisle, excitedly waving a piece of paper. Her radiant beauty, dazzling smile and spectacular figure cause quite a stir among the male members of the show's production crew and puts a loving grin on the somber face of the gentleman in blue.
Romelle: (Hopping up on the stage next to her beloved.) "Here it is, darling!"
Sven: (taking the paper from her and looking it over briefly) "Yumpin' yiminy, Roma, I yust can't believe the Kitties talked you into talking me into doing one of their crazy lists!"
Romelle: (blinking innocently) "As I recall, my talking you into it had nothing to do with it."
Sven: (starting to smile) "Ya, that's true. Sometimes actions do speak louder dan vords."
(Sven leans toward his beloved Princess, his clear blue gaze filled with intent. Slowly he dips his head, and hers tilts up, as their lips part in anticipation of a kiss. The moment seems timeless, as Sven's mouth hovers only a hair's breadth away from Romelle's. The spell is broken, however, by the repetitive clinking of a fork on a glass. Sven and Romelle jump apart and glare over their shoulders at the three Hunkateers now standing right behind them, KittyCaro and KittyShannon look embarrassed, even while an oblivious KittyLynne continues to happily clink away.)
KittyShannon: (hissing) "Lynne, knock it off!" (gently elbows KL)
KittyLynne: (in clueless tones) "What? What's wrong? Aren't they kissing yet?" (She slows and then stops her clinking as she finally notices the glares directed at her.) "Whoops, sorry! Heh, heh, I guess I ruined a rare S & R moment!" (She sheepishly hides the glass and fork behind her back.)
KittyShannon: (looking amused) "You most certainly did! Just what were you trying to do anyway, KL?"
KittyCaro: (looking puzzled) "Yes, chica, I was just wondering the same thing!"
KittyLynne: (a mite defensively) "Well, weddings are the theme this month, right?" (The other Kitties nod) "Well, I was just practicing the quaint custom of clinking a glass to make the bride and groom kiss. WildBlade suggested it after we-" (KL stops and turns as red as a peony)
KittyShannon: (smiling wickedly) "WildBlade? As in, 'Let's play hockey and knock some people on their overly padded butts' WildBlade? "
KittyLynne: (trying not to smile) "Uh-huh."
KittyCaro: (innocently) "So what happened to Keith?"
KittyLynne: (looking secretive) "Um...nothing...he's still my secret honey..." (starts to fidget)
KittyShannon: (arching a brow and smiling mischievously) "Hm. And just what do you mean by-"
Sven: (breaking in with a charming smile) "Excuse me ladies, but are you sure you vant us to rehearse this list now? Ve can come back later, it vould be no trouble."
The Kitties look at each other in chagrin, and then break into profuse apologies.
KittyLynne: (looking remorseful) "Oh dear...Sven, we're so sorry for our rudeness in ignoring you and the Princess!"
KittyCaro: (looking distraught) "Terribly, terribly sorry."
KittyShannon: (looking very contrite) "Please, oh please...forgive us!"
Sven: (wryly) "Dat's okay, ve are used to being ignored." (Romelle nods sadly.)
The disconsolate Kitties murmur amongst themselves. Their ears and tails are now drooping, adding to the general atmosphere of dismay.
Romelle: (smiling kindly at the Kitties) "Do not worry, dear ladies, we know the three of you appreciate and believe in us as a romantic couple, otherwise you would not have invited us here."
The Kitties brighten at once at hearing her gracious words.
KittyCaro: (nodding emphatically) "We most certainly do think you're a wonderful couple!"
KittyShannon: (smiling brightly) "Most definitely!"
KittyLynne: (waving hands enthusiastically) "Jeg tror at De er det per fekte romantiske paret."*
Sven: (grinning) "Mane takk, KittyLynne. Now, let's get down to business, ya? I vill read this list to you ladies, und you can tell me if I need to vork on my delivery." (Holding the list out in front of him, Sven begins to read loudly, gesturing grandly with his free hand while projecting to the empty room in his distinctive vocal style.)
Top Ten Vays To Make A Norwegian Space Explorer Fall In Love Vit You!
Number Ten! Compliment him on his very charming brogue.
Number Nine! Show him you can eat lutefisk without holding your nose. (Or just eat lutefisk- period. Either vay he'll be impressed!)
Number Eight! Compliment him on his delightful collection of 'Good Luck Trolls', even if you tink dey look more hideous dan King Zarkon.
Number Seven! Get trown into a pit full of skulls so he can rescue you. Den look deeply into his eyes as you tank him for saving you.
Number Six! Force him to navigate for you when you pilot the getaway ship, so he can regain his confidence and redeem himself to the vorld. Den look deeply into his eyes as you tank him for saving you.
Number Five! Go back to Planet Doom to free da slaves. Run into the sights of a sniper so he has to tackle you to da ground to prevent you from getting hurt. As he's lying on top of you, look deeply into his eyes ...okay, okay, you should know da drill by now! Yeesh!
Number Four! Make a point of learning the difference between 'Uff Da' und 'Fee Da'!
Number Three! Show him you're not afraid to get 'down and dirty' vit da boys! (Learning to throw a grenade is a good place to start.)
Number Two! Instead of arguing, give him a special knife vhen he's tells you he's about to go up against Lotor. Tell him your heart is vit him.
Sven stops to clear his throat, as he sends a loving glance at Romelle. The Kitties sigh and exchange happy glances. After taking a moment to compose himself, Sven continues.
And finally...the Number One Vay To Make A Norwegian Space Explorer Fall In Love Vit You is...
Laugh at his jokes, no matter how annoying dey are. I repeat- laugh at his jokes no matter HOW annoying dey are!
The Kitties start to giggle hysterically, as does Romelle.
Sven: (looking askance at his Princess) "Someting tells me those sly Kitty-Cats had a little 'hjelpe'* writing this."
Romelle: (grinning) "Despite appearances, you're not the only one on Planet Pollux with a sense of humor, you know."
Sven: (now smiling wickedly) "I know. And you should have put it on your list, because I find it an incredible turn-on." (Sven suddenly grabs Romelle, pulls her into his body and gives her a stirring, passionate kiss. The Kitties gasp with titillated delight.)
Romelle: (coming up for air and purring happily) "Oh my..."
Sven: (in husky tones) "Vould you like me to do my special dance for you?"
Romelle: (smiling sexily) "Uh-huh..." (They go into a fervent clinch. Cat-calls and whistles fill the air, but Sven and Romelle ignore them.)
KittyLynne smiles as an idea pops into her head. She walks over the embracing couple and dangles a key next to Sven's face.
KittyLynne: "Okay, you newlyweds- here are the keys to my dressing room! Make sure you return them when you're through, and keeping mind that taping starts in two hours."
Without breaking the kiss, Sven reaches for and palms the keys.
KittyShannon and KittyCaro: (in unison) "But KL, where are you going to get dressed?"
KittyLynne: (looking sly) "Why, in the locker room of course! Hm, that reminds me, I better go now and get my costume before I get locked out!" (KL then exchanges 'air kisses' with the other Kitties and with a flick of her tail, all but dances away.)
KittyCaro: (looking bewildered) "HRH has a locker room?"
KittyShannon: (grinning and shaking her head) "We do now."
To be continued....~_^
*Author's Translations:
"Hjelpe" means "help"
"Jeg tror at De er det perfekte romantiske paret." translates as "I think you are the perfect romantic couple."
By KittyLynne
Disclaimer: Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author.
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
#10 - "Blue Cat just had kittens...would you like one, dearie?"
#9 - "I have a new line of cosmetics that you’ll just love! Would you like a make over?"
#8 - "May I use your kitchen? I have a new recipe I’ve been wanting to try."
#7 - "I think you’d look better with tentacles instead of arms."
#6 - "What’s Compound W, and why is there a case of it in my room?"
#5 - "Oh were those mice your pets? I’m sorry."
#4 - "What say we go out cruising in my coffin ship?"
#3 - "Hm, very interesting... I see Planet Earth seems to have a large supply of lazon..."
#2 - "Prince Lotor told me he finds you attractive."
#1 - "May I use your phone? I need to phone home."
...and a profusely heartfelt mea culpa to David Letterman
#10 - "Blue Cat just had kittens...would you like one, dearie?"
#9 - "I have a new line of cosmetics that you’ll just love! Would you like a make over?"
#8 - "May I use your kitchen? I have a new recipe I’ve been wanting to try."
#7 - "I think you’d look better with tentacles instead of arms."
#6 - "What’s Compound W, and why is there a case of it in my room?"
#5 - "Oh were those mice your pets? I’m sorry."
#4 - "What say we go out cruising in my coffin ship?"
#3 - "Hm, very interesting... I see Planet Earth seems to have a large supply of lazon..."
#2 - "Prince Lotor told me he finds you attractive."
#1 - "May I use your phone? I need to phone home."
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Advisory
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Please Note
"Hunk's Corner" is the most recent version of the "Hunk's the Real Hunk" Fan Club Site,
and was originally established December 11, 2000
Disclaimers
Voltron: Defender Of The Universe, Vehicle Voltron,
Voltron The Third Dimension, Voltron Force
Voltron: Legendary Defender
and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted © by
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And licensed by
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Stories, new and original characters, etc., copyright © their respective authors/creators. Please be kind, considerate and honest and don't use original characters or reuse/repost an artist's or writer's work without their express consent. Anything you see or read here has been posted with permission from the respective author or artist.
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